Today on my drive home from work, I had half of a curry chicken salad sandwich in one of those plastic containers rolling around my front seat. I was playing with my iPod like an irresponsible young adult and had to stop short at the stoplight. So what was my first instinct? To do the "mommy hold" on my sandwich. In my twisted mind, my sandwich is equivalent to that of a child in danger of being run into by a car. I've never done the "mommy hold" on anything in my life. You know what? That sandwich was the most precious thing in my car. Have you ever had a really good curry chicken salad? Priceless.
My sister, on the other hand, will do the "mommy hold" on me when she barely stops short. She's just one of those people whose destiny is to be a mom because she's got the protective instinct. I guess I kind of have the protective instinct. But only for delicious sandwiches. I think I'd do it for some kind of pasta dish too. Or pie. But only those three things!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Musings on Valentine's Day.
-I wish it was customary to bring bags of Doritos as Valentine's Day snacks, instead of conversation hearts. conversation hearts are the worst.
-The internet has made this holiday, once bearable when I had AOL 4.0 and it took real effort to get on-line, disgusting. I can't escape it. Even the menu page on my Roku Box was infested with little red and pink hearts this morning and for the last two effin weeks. We get it. Valentines Day. Thanks, Roku. Just let me watch Downton Abbey now.
-Someone at work today used the term "non-traditional couple" today when I asked if she had any big plans with her fiance (I was baited). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
-I refuse to sit around eating bon-bons (don't know what these are) and drinking white wine while watching "Bridget Jones' Diary" because I am single. Renee Zellwegger is the worst. So is the spelling of her last name.
-It is Valentine's Day.
-I will OBLITERATE Facebook with my mind powers if I read another status that features a stuffed animal or actual animal as someone's Valentine.
-Congratulations, Hallmark.
-I got to talk to my old roommate of four years for the first time in 6+ months. Best Valentines Day present ever.
-Also, this would be the best Valentines Day present:
-The internet has made this holiday, once bearable when I had AOL 4.0 and it took real effort to get on-line, disgusting. I can't escape it. Even the menu page on my Roku Box was infested with little red and pink hearts this morning and for the last two effin weeks. We get it. Valentines Day. Thanks, Roku. Just let me watch Downton Abbey now.
-Someone at work today used the term "non-traditional couple" today when I asked if she had any big plans with her fiance (I was baited). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
-I refuse to sit around eating bon-bons (don't know what these are) and drinking white wine while watching "Bridget Jones' Diary" because I am single. Renee Zellwegger is the worst. So is the spelling of her last name.
-It is Valentine's Day.
-I will OBLITERATE Facebook with my mind powers if I read another status that features a stuffed animal or actual animal as someone's Valentine.
-Congratulations, Hallmark.
-I got to talk to my old roommate of four years for the first time in 6+ months. Best Valentines Day present ever.
-Also, this would be the best Valentines Day present:
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