That labcoat is HOTTTT

Today I had orientation for my new job as a cashier at a nice health foods grocery store. It's the type of place that doesn't have any harmful chemicals or artificial blah blah blahs in their food and a bunch of other things you didn't even know could give you cancer. As my friend Katie Bo would call the clientele, "fruit n' nuts joggers and uber-rich suburbia moms." I actually do like to shop and eat there even though it costs me an entire afternoon's salary at the statehouse to buy a bunch of grapes and a Kombucha.

All of my previous jobs have been for smaller companies or government, so orientation to work for a large-ish grocery store chain is very different. For one, I watched my first harassment video titled, "From Sex to Religion and Everything in Between." I tried to find a video clip so everyone could experience the awkwardness with me, but a quick google search revealed that this 23-minute cinematic gem costs a cool $325 sooo no video clip. A detailed description of my favorite bit is going to have to cut it.

An average looking man (if he was good looking, he would already be in a mediocre movie about vampires or racing cars, am I right or am I right?) is at a horribly tacky tiki bar getting two martinis and brings one over to an average looking woman who is his co-worker and begins to woo her. Fellas, remember these lines because they are gonna get you some tail someday.

Man: Hey Melissa (or some other generic white lady name) you're looking mighty fine tonight.
Woman: umm thanks...
Man: Really you're looking fantastic. I see you in that labcoat at work and it gets me all hot and bothered! Wanna sex? (That last one was my addition, but I think this character would say something like that)
Woman: ummm... that makes me uncomfortable.(walks away)
(cuts to incredibly dry woman who blatantly reads off cue cards why this is an inappropriate thing to say to a co-worker)

Bottom line: if you don't want to get sued for harassment of any type, don't have a personality and become a mute because anything you say can be misconstrued as offensive.