In the second grade I was in a puppet show that featured the animals of the rain forest. I was assigned the part of the baby sloth. Together with mama sloth, we met the other animals of the rain forest and taught them the pitfalls of becoming lazy and inefficient in an ecosystem that is rapidly disintegrating. I actually have no idea what the plot for this dumb puppet show was, but I do remember my one line and it was written in the script like this: "I AM A BABY THREEEEE TOEED SLOOOOTH. I SLEEEEP UP TO EIGHTEEEEN HOURS A DAY." I can't believe we didn't get a Tony. Robbed.
Since I got up at 9:30 this morning, I have not changed out of my pajamas and my movement has been limited to adjusting my pillows and walking the 20 feet to the kitchen. It is now 2:28. I have become the baby threeeeeeee-tooooooooeeed slooooooooth. Someone please tell me how to fight my sloth tendencies. If at all possible, please post comments in the form of IKEA pictorial instructions. If it takes too long, I'll probably be too lazy to read anything.
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