It's been a week and a half since I started my new job at an autism clinic doing front desk nothingness or "administrative work" as they like to call it. Here's the breakdown of my job:
1. Sit at desk
2. Sit at desk
Ok, that's not actually all that I do, but I would say that "sit at desk" is approx. 60% of my job. The other 40% is split between handing pens to parents to sign their kids in, watching hulu/netflix/megavideo, gchatting, answering phones and looking up dumb shit on the internet. Normally I get really bad new job jitters where I walk on eggshells for a week or two trying not to fuck something up, but I can't really fuck up "sit at desk". This job is ridiculously easy and the pay is disproportionately high (not that I'm complaining) and as an added bonus, two of my close friends work here and have worked here for years. They've told me all the gossip so I know stuff that I probably shouldn't. However, if I happen to get into a tiff with any of the therapists, I am ready at a moments notice with a verbal smack down, Blair Waldorf style.
The other hidden advantage of this job is that it's a great icebreaker. My other jobs have had their own merits when it comes to meeting new people and ice-breakage but people perk up when they hear autism. Let's look at the facts: Autism is super trendy these days. I remember watching an episode of Top Chef Masters and at least 3 of those Masters donated their winnings to an autism charity. Yes, I judge level of trendiness based on Top Chef Masters. It has a certain mystique to it too (as if you needed more reasons than "Top Chef Masters). There's no certain cause or cure and more and more kids are being diagnosed with it at a surprisingly high rate. After cancer, AIDS and heart disease, autism is climbing the charts for "most likely to have a 5k for." People love wearing their 5k for ______(fill in the blank with charity/disease) shirts.
When I utter the words "I work with kids who have autism" to a stranger, I suddenly look like Mother Theresa in their eyes. And even though I am nowhere near the Mother, I think it's pretty Mother Theresa of me to not let them think that I work for a non-profit and am just volunteering out of the kindness of my heart. No. This job pays and the owners are greedy as fuck. I actually think putting "autism therapist" down on my resume landed me my job at the Statehouse. So after I burst the stranger's bubble, I get to talk about how cute the kids are and the funny things they do or say. For instance, my roommate got a marriage proposal from one of the kids she works with. They've decided on a long engagement. Ok so that didn't happen to me, but it's only my second week. I hope a special someone will put a ring on this finger by the end of the month. Am I right, ladies?!
**Correction: a small child with autism just grabbed my butt not one minute ago. Let the anecdote collection begin.
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