Bladeleine

In honor of my best friend Madeleine's birthday, I dedicate this blarticle to her (get it? Bladeleine? 3 words smooshed to one. BOOM).

Our story began in Mrs. Schneider's second grade class. We were not friends. She hugged people really really hard and loved all things girly, and I was focused on becoming a professional soccer player/voice actor for cartoon characters. Fast forward to the fall of seventh grade. We were finally eligible to play sports for our school and everyone did something so I went out for volleyball, the least popular of all the sports to play. It was there that we bonded over how terrible our volleyball team was, our lack of boobs, and hatred of the presidential fitness test.

What a crazy journey we've been on. Treasure hunting, running away from escaped convicts, saving a disfigured giant, and using the treasure to save our neighborhood house from corporate bastards! Ok, so that's the plot of "The Goonies," but we watched that movie and many many others during our high school career. We're the people in the theater who sit in the front so we can put our feet up on the rail, get seconds on the tub of popcorn and talk the whole way through. You hate us at the movies. And we love us. I'm still surprised we don't have a reality show, or at least a talk radio show so people can listen in on our analysis on of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Then in 11th grade, Madeleine up and decided to move to Spain for a year. I survived, but missed my partner in crime dearly. No one to make up songs for our band (I use that term loosely), Squirrel Inferno, no one to dress  in non-sexy Halloween costumes with, and no one to watch Strongbad videos with. But Madeleine had to go. She became fully Madeleined that year and because of that, she inspired me to take a summer course in Spain too.

After everyone went off to college, I slowly lost touch with all my high school friends but Madeleine and I remain strong even after she traveled to Brazil, France, Switzerland, and Israel and picked up 29857928423 different language skills along the way. I'm convinced she's in the CIA. Nobody goes to an ivy league college, speaks that many languages, plays volleyball and doesn't get scooped up by the CIA. I, on the other hand, stayed in South Carolina, a foreign country unto itself, and learned to speak several dialects of boondocks. The FBI has already gotten a hold of me for my deep knowledge of high and low southern culture (seersucker vs. wife beater). 

So here's to you, my dearest Madeleine, for being born today. Way to make it through that birth canal. Shout out to Mama Schnur for doing the pushing. I truly wouldn't be who I am today without you. And for everyone else who doesn't have a Madeleine to make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I give you puppy cam. Happy Madeleine's birthday, everyone!