Did You Bring A Bag Today, Sir?

Columbia, SC is officially on the map now. Whole Foods has arrived. The frenzy surrounding the opening of Whole Foods in Columbia is usually reserved for the new iPhone or a presidential rally. Only in a city so small could the opening of a grocery store that has been around for years be considered big enough to warrant the front page of the newspaper. I went the day after it opened to find cops directing traffic. For a grocery store.

As an employee for their only real direct competition (in the area), there has been a lot of chatter around the store, employees and customers alike, about what is going to happen to us. What are you going to do when Whole Foods gets here? Are you feeling the heat from Whole Foods? It's like a terrible pro wrestling match. "Can you smell...what Whole Foods is cooking?!" Yeah. I do. It smells pretty good.

I don't feel nervous at all about us closing or this sense of allegiance that many customers think I should have. If I got a job at Whole Foods, I would be a traitor in a heartbeat. The pay is almost double what I get for the same job. A few of my co-workers applied in between the job fair and the opening and my store manager somehow got wind that people were applying and cut their hours. This is a retail job. We get paid slightly above minimum wage. You manage a bunch of college age, 20 somethings. Really, dude? We're supposed to be loyal after that overblown reaction? I'm going to reserve my allegiance for House Targaryen and the organic grocery stores can duke it out themselves.

So I leave you with this clip from "Portlandia", an accurate portrayal of a day in my life:

But really, I don't give a shit if you bring a bag.