Saturday, March 30, 2013

I WANT ALL THE THINGS

Browsing the New York Times recently, I ran across this optimistically titled article, "Do Millennials Stand A Chance In The Real World?" so of course, I read it because like a good little self-absorbed millennial I wanted to know more about me. Also, as someone who recently moved to one of the most expensive cities in the world with no job, it seemed particularly applicable to my situation.

WHAT. A. DOWNER. I was really hoping that the answer to the title question would be a resounding "Yes!" and like a GIF of Christian Bales from The Newsies clicking his heels, but as it turns out, us millennials are in for a rough ride. I suppose that initial reaction is just another indicator that I am living up to my trophy generation roots. Reading this article was kind of like reading your horoscope and extrapolating what you want. Like this bit on spending habits:
The millennials’ relationship with money seems quite simple. They do not have a lot of it, and what they do have, they seem reluctant to spend. Millennials are buying fewer cars and houses, and despite their immersion in consumer culture, particularly electronics, they are not really spending beyond their limited means. Their credit-card debt has declined, most likely because many millennials cannot get a credit card, and in part because they know they cannot afford to spend now and pay back later. “They have this risk aversion that we’ve seen with millennials since they were teenagers,” Howe said. “It’s declining alcohol use, declining drug use. I mean, declining sex.”
I thought, "YES! All of this yes!" I just got my first credit card and every time I use it, I get an upset stomach. Yet despite our stinginess, we are the generation that is most associated with materialism. While our baby-boomer predecessors used words like "work ethic" to describe what makes them unique, millennials responded with "clothes," which I actually LOL'ed at. So we want all the things, but aren't willing to shell out for it leaving us... perpetually frustrated?

And it gets worse. Bring your umbrellas, millennials because economists are forecasting a chance of poor for the rest of your life.
The millennials, in other polls, remain optimistic about their futures. Economists are less so. There is a persistent fear that they have entered a permanently lower earnings and savings trajectory. Even if the generation recovers, even if it ends up wealthier than the one before it, the scars will be deep and long-lasting. Kahn has started comparing recent graduates during the recent recession with recent graduates in the 1981-82 recession. She said the initial wage losses were comparable, and the trend looks set to repeat. “My inclination is pessimism,” Kahn said. “If anything, these guys might experience something worse.” 
I wonder though if being optimistic in the face of our bleak future isn't a characteristic of millennials but a characteristic of just being young. I say this as a self-proclaimed pessimist who is optimistic about my future. Isn't every generation of young people optimistic because of the sheer amount of time we have to worry about things that economists worry about? Leave being jaded, inflexible and senile for the old folks. Maybe that's a very simplistic way of looking at it but hey, my teachers always told me that I could say whatever I want to say so STEP OFF.

Even though I am worried about a shocking number of things on a day to day basis, I have a suspicion that things will be just fine for us millennials. We're the best-educated generation even though it may not seem like that sometimes when our youths are doing this. With our fancy pants college degrees and internet learnings maybe we can forge our own paths, different from the Norman Rockwell paintings of yore, though Neil Howe, author of Generations, contends that "millennials have a very conventional notion of the American dream — a spouse, a house, a kid — but it is not going to be easy for them to get those things.” So maybe we don't get all the things. Maybe we adapt or-and don't get upset by this word- settle for most of the things. But don't worry, moms of the world. We'll pay for the clothes ourselves. You know, the really important stuff. On a completely unrelated note, can we crash on the couch for like ever?






Thursday, March 28, 2013

Giggity!

Guess where I am right now! Guantanamo Bay doesn't have wifi, dummy. And not an S&M sex dungeon either, you pervs. Since your mind is clearly going towards the dark and perverse, I'll just tell you. I'm at my first New York City job! Ok, job is a bit generous. It's my first temp gig. Gig! I have a gig. I finally have something other than sitting at home waiting for a phone call from prospective employers!

The temp agency called me this morning at 8:30 to ask if I wanted one day of work at a media firm, to which I responded with "mmmhfdlksjklfh ok." If anyone speaks to me before 10 these days, you're gonna get a whole lotta nonsense before you get actual English words. He let me know it was at CBS interactive, which is the exactly the type of place that I would want to get hired at, even as a receptionist. This is seriously the cushiest job I've ever had. The guy who showed me around told me that I could play music quietly at my desk if I wanted to, there were giant TVs on either side of me, a stack of different Keurig pods the size of the leaning tower of Pisa, 25 cent cans of soda, and a bean bag corner. If your office doesn't have a corner designated for bean bags, you should probably quit.

The day went as follows:

10:00-Arrive at office ready to be trained by Kenneth. If you also thought "KENNETH, THE PAGE?" you are not alone. The similarities between Kenneth, the page and Kenneth, CBS office administrator stop at having family from the South.

10:05-Done with training. Phone rings, answer it. Packages arrive, sign for them. Call me if you need anything.

10:37-First phone call of the day. Very disappointed to hear the security guard's voice at the other end and not David Letterman or someone from CSI:MiamiNewYorkChicagoLA asking for my help to solve sexy crimes.

1:00-Lunch! I go to the corner deli, grab a sandwich and come back to read my book, drink my 25 cent diet coke (I'm seriously in awe of this. If I ever go back, I might just stock up) and eat in peace in the lounge. There's only one other guy in the lounge watching "Swamp People." We eat in silence.

1:40-swarms of people come in to eat their lunch together. Suddenly I feel like Rory Gilmore with my sandwich and book at the end of the lunch table. Except I'm temping and this would probably happen to her on her first day at The New Yorker. I think about jumping into the convo but I thought ugh, jumping takes sooo much effort. A girl mentions that she would have her entire wardrobe come from Madewell, I confirm that I too would love that and that was it. No lifelong friends made today.

3:50-Internet goes out. Panic ensues. I want to unplug and plug wires back in like I would at home, but there was this whole mess of wires under my desk that I just did not want to fuck up. Oh, you broke the internet? WAY TO GO, TEMP. Also, I have an irrational childhood fear of that one episode of Are You Afraid of The Dark where a computer virus comes to life in the form of a midget, which is part of my aversion to anything too technical.

4:03-Fixed! Kenneth did it, but whatever. I continue to meander through the Internet aimlessly.

5:05-Fill out a timesheet, and head home.

Another New York first: saw my first subway rat on the train tracks drinking stagnant subway water. Also saw my first subway rat get run over by the subway.

All in all, a productive day. I get to trail in a kitchen tomorrow for my third interview with the celeb chef. After two rounds of interview, I would have to assume there are only a couple of candidates left in the running. Hopefully I won't get cut after this round. Or go to the chopping block. Or get burned by the competition. Ok, that's enough of that. I'm going to enjoy a well deserved dinner. After all, I worked hard today. So much internet browsing.

Friday, March 22, 2013

When It Rains, It Pours

So the old adage is true. When it rains, it pours. If you get one interview, the universe sends an email out to everyone else you've applied to to let them know that you're a hot commodity. I've had two interviews this week, and two next week. And for things that I would like to do! Doing something you enjoy for a living. Imagine that...

And remember when I asked for a Groundhog Day? I'm kind of getting one. I have a follow up phone interview with the chef! My friend says it's because I'm not a "resume robot" and actually acted like a human being (but seriously, I was a total spazz. This second interview is a fucking miracle). And it's a phone interview! Phone interviews are the best! You can do them in the comfort of your own home, it would be really hard to be late for one and no dumb interview clothes to wear. I will probably not be wearing pants for mine, as it is scheduled for 10 a.m. and I normally wake up around that time. Unemployment does have it's perks...

When I moved up here I gave myself two months to find a job and that deadline is fast approaching. With this kind of momentum, hopefully I can find a place that will pay me actual money! I might be able to afford an apartment! And food! I miss eating things that aren't PB&J. I'm not sure why I'm leaving you with this video other than it always makes me giggle and I'm in a really excited giggly mood. Happy Friday!




Thursday, March 7, 2013

Can I get a Groundhog Day?

Today started off with so much promise. I had an interview scheduled to work for an amazing chef to be her personal assistant. I didn't really sleep well with all the anticipation, but I left myself 15 extra minutes I took a cab and still got there 10 minutes late. Curse the New York City traffic! When I get there, the girl that I set up the interview with ushers me into the chef's office as I'm trying to catch my breath and slow my heartbeat down so it is not completely audible. A little back story: I got this interview through a friend of mine who works in the restaurant group. I had (wrongly) assumed that they would be interviewing a ton of different people and thought that I would be screened by the woman who set up the interview time with me. Nope, straight into the thick of it. And it just gets worse from there. The most painful moments from my interview keep replaying in my mind like a GIF that just won't quit. Buzzfeed could do a "10 Worst Moments" list with all the GIFs in my mind. I actually think this is the worst interview I have ever given for the best job I have ever interviewed for.

I'm sending a thank you note, but I think I'm back at square one in the job hunt. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Say, what kind of incantation would I have to chant to get a do-over on this day? BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!