Giggity!

Guess where I am right now! Guantanamo Bay doesn't have wifi, dummy. And not an S&M sex dungeon either, you pervs. Since your mind is clearly going towards the dark and perverse, I'll just tell you. I'm at my first New York City job! Ok, job is a bit generous. It's my first temp gig. Gig! I have a gig. I finally have something other than sitting at home waiting for a phone call from prospective employers!

The temp agency called me this morning at 8:30 to ask if I wanted one day of work at a media firm, to which I responded with "mmmhfdlksjklfh ok." If anyone speaks to me before 10 these days, you're gonna get a whole lotta nonsense before you get actual English words. He let me know it was at CBS interactive, which is the exactly the type of place that I would want to get hired at, even as a receptionist. This is seriously the cushiest job I've ever had. The guy who showed me around told me that I could play music quietly at my desk if I wanted to, there were giant TVs on either side of me, a stack of different Keurig pods the size of the leaning tower of Pisa, 25 cent cans of soda, and a bean bag corner. If your office doesn't have a corner designated for bean bags, you should probably quit.

The day went as follows:

10:00-Arrive at office ready to be trained by Kenneth. If you also thought "KENNETH, THE PAGE?" you are not alone. The similarities between Kenneth, the page and Kenneth, CBS office administrator stop at having family from the South.

10:05-Done with training. Phone rings, answer it. Packages arrive, sign for them. Call me if you need anything.

10:37-First phone call of the day. Very disappointed to hear the security guard's voice at the other end and not David Letterman or someone from CSI:MiamiNewYorkChicagoLA asking for my help to solve sexy crimes.

1:00-Lunch! I go to the corner deli, grab a sandwich and come back to read my book, drink my 25 cent diet coke (I'm seriously in awe of this. If I ever go back, I might just stock up) and eat in peace in the lounge. There's only one other guy in the lounge watching "Swamp People." We eat in silence.

1:40-swarms of people come in to eat their lunch together. Suddenly I feel like Rory Gilmore with my sandwich and book at the end of the lunch table. Except I'm temping and this would probably happen to her on her first day at The New Yorker. I think about jumping into the convo but I thought ugh, jumping takes sooo much effort. A girl mentions that she would have her entire wardrobe come from Madewell, I confirm that I too would love that and that was it. No lifelong friends made today.

3:50-Internet goes out. Panic ensues. I want to unplug and plug wires back in like I would at home, but there was this whole mess of wires under my desk that I just did not want to fuck up. Oh, you broke the internet? WAY TO GO, TEMP. Also, I have an irrational childhood fear of that one episode of Are You Afraid of The Dark where a computer virus comes to life in the form of a midget, which is part of my aversion to anything too technical.

4:03-Fixed! Kenneth did it, but whatever. I continue to meander through the Internet aimlessly.

5:05-Fill out a timesheet, and head home.

Another New York first: saw my first subway rat on the train tracks drinking stagnant subway water. Also saw my first subway rat get run over by the subway.

All in all, a productive day. I get to trail in a kitchen tomorrow for my third interview with the celeb chef. After two rounds of interview, I would have to assume there are only a couple of candidates left in the running. Hopefully I won't get cut after this round. Or go to the chopping block. Or get burned by the competition. Ok, that's enough of that. I'm going to enjoy a well deserved dinner. After all, I worked hard today. So much internet browsing.