My freshman English teacher was a bit of a femi-nazi determined to open our young impressionable eyes to how certain stories and movies were holding women down. For our last project, we watched Mulan (my favorite Disney movie FYI--and not just because she's Asian. Racists.) and were assigned to analyze the song lyrics and script for anti-feminists undertones and how Disney movies in general fill young girls minds with unrealistic expectations of romance and men. Maybe for some girls this is true, but even as a young child, I knew none of this was realistic. I mean, I don't think Li-Shang wore a shirt once in Mulan (not that I'm complaining).
Disney didn't ruined my expectations of romance and men for me. Jim Halpert did.
Jim Halpert is a modern-day Disney prince. Sure there's less fighting giant octopuswomanwitch monsters, but Jim fought for Pam. I have watched Jim Halpert for nine years on The Office pine and woo and court and marry Pam Beesley. As a complete package, The Office was great for about five of the nine years, but Jim and Pam's relationship always kept me coming back (also Jim's hair--boy's got a good head of hair). In the final two episodes the writers presented so Jim/Pam "awwww" moments I could barely stand it. It was lovely. Then I immediately got that itchy jealous feeling because 1. I'm pretty sure Jim Halpert doesn't have a twin that I can date and 2. Jim Halpert does not exist in real life.
I think this pretty much sums up why Jim is so dreamy:
Their story is a classic will-they-won't-they, but for Jim it was always when-will-they. Swoon.
The highly-anticipated The Great Gatsby is released this weekend and with its premiere has been an onslaught of Gatsby/20s/flapper/prohibition themed everything. I mean everything. Thesaurus.com even has a slideshow about learning jazz era language. Isn't it all just scatting and calling guys "old sport"?
Admittedly, I am a Baz Luhrman hater. There are few films that I've hated more than Australia and Moulin Rouge. However, I did like Romeo+Juliet and I hope it leans in that direction rather than the three hour crap fest that is Australia. So as it stands, I am cautiously optimistic about this movie.
But I do have reservations.
It's ironic how excessive this whole promotion has been given that the main theme in the novel is how excess leads to hedonistic, immoral living. I mean the movie was shot in 3-D. Talk about excess for crying out loud. Apparently Luhrman wanted to find a way to to make the audience "feel like they were inside the room," but shouldn't the characters and the writing do that for us in a movie that is based on a beloved American classic?
The trailer makes me wonder if the entire movie will go way over the top and be a hot mess or will it toe the line and be a controlled spectacle . I don't really see a way for this movie to have any subtlety to it whatsoever (except maybe in the case of Carey Mulligan).
Oh, and Blake Lively was almost cast as Daisy Buchanan. If that's not an indication of poor judgement, I don't know what is.
That being said, I am extremely excited that Baz Luhrman decided to go back on his medication and cast Carey Mulligan as Daisy instead. I think she's one of the best working actresses and it makes me even more excited to see her because I hated Mia Farrow in the last Gatsby film adaptation in 1977. It's a great cast--even Tobey 'Vacant Eyes' Maguire looks like he will do the observant Nick Carraway justice.
Another thing that struck me when I watched the trailer first was the soundtrack. This track list is insane.
1. 100$ Bill - JAY Z 2. Back To Black - Beyoncé x André 3000 3. Bang Bang - will.i.am 4. A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got) - Fergie + Q Tip + GoonRock 5. Young And Beautiful - Lana Del Rey 6. Love Is The Drug - Bryan Ferry with The Bryan Ferry Orchestra 7. Over The Love - Florence + The Machine 8. Where The Wind Blows - Coco O. of Quadron 9. Crazy in Love - Emeli Sandé and The Bryan Ferry Orchestra 10. Together – The xx 11. Hearts A Mess - Gotye 12. Love Is Blindness – Jack White 13. Into the Past - Nero 14. Kill and Run - Sia
It's pretty much a who's who of hot artists today. And at first I thought "No Church In The Wild" was an odd choice for the trailer, but every time I watched the trailer, it got me super pumped to see the movie so, well done trailer-maker-people.
Baz may have cast the hottest actors and the hottest artists for the soundtrack but it could all be smoke and mirrors. This could still very well be a total failure. It would be very tongue in cheek if Luhrman meant for the movie to be one of the most opulent movies and then have it crumble, mirroring the themes in the novel. Nah, this is Baz Luhrman we're talking about. The man who made Australia.
So, I'm asian. I'm not sure if I've addressed this before on my blog, but there it is. You might not be able to discern this from my Liz Lemon profile pic, but what can I say? Drunk Liz Lemon is my spirit animal. Because I have been the token Asian for the majority of my life, I have always been hyper aware of my Asian-ness. Now that I am living in New York City, that token has- poof!- disappeared. But in the past few days, my asian persuasion has resurfaced.
I'm walking down the street, minding my own beeswax when a fellow who was-how do I put this delicately... portly? santa-esque?- walked past me, briefly stopped and muttered "Ni hao MA, girl" and kept walking. No plans to actually stop and harass me. Just a quick drive-by racist comment. What I want to know is WHY? What does this accomplish? Just to get a rise out of me? It didn't work. I stopped for a second to process what he had said because it barely registered. I got really confused/ slightly annoyed and moved on with my day. If that was his goal then mission accomplished, soldier. It couldn't have been to pursue me. He barely stopped to say that to me. Did he think I would be so impressed by that comment that I would run after him? Is it something so glaringly obvious that I've just missed? Someone give me some insight here.
It's that time of the year again. Celebs from Hollyweird and beyond gather for the annual Met Gala to celebrate whatever Anna Wintour feels like promoting. Last year was a fitting tribute to great designers Schiaparelli and Prada and this year, just to zig when you think they'll zag, the theme was "Punk: From Chaos to Couture." Oh sure, because nothing is more punk than having celebutante millionaires overpay for some pink hair extensions and put some safety pins on their couture gowns. While high concept fashion designers like Vivienne Westwood and John Paul Gaultier have borrowed elements of punk culture in the past, the Met Gala celebrating punk is an anathema to the original movement. From my understanding of it, punk completely eschews materialism, anything too mainstream, and general anarchy-- you know, everything the Met Gala isn't.
It was kind of fun to see celebs take a stab at punk. I don't think there's anymore black eyeliner left in the world and they wiped Hot Topic out of temporary hair dye. In terms of outfits, here is my winner and loser:
Winner:
SJP looks crazy compared to everyone else. It certainly ain't mainstream.
Loser:
Did you forget what the theme was? You're the one parent chaperone in regular clothes while all the kids are in costumes trick-or-treating. Lame. OR, maybe it's super subversive and she's reverse psychologing everyone. Just because I say to go punk, you do it? I'm going regular party dress tonight!
One of the many reasons why I'm sure I'm an old man trapped in a 25 year old woman's body is that when I thought about how much I really don't like my new retail job, I tried to rationalize not quitting by sternly telling myself "it builds character!"
You're probably thinking, "wow, how groundbreaking! This girl doesn't like her retail job! Does she also not like Hitler?" Admittedly, it's not a novel perspective, but whatever you're reading my blog. But here's the thing--the majority of the people with whom I work with actually enjoy the soul-sucking hell that is retail. Here are a few things that I've noticed about the people who like working retail a.k.a an O.C.D. sufferer's wet dream:
-They really take pride in spacing out the hangers 2 fingers apart.
-They won't stop steaming a garment until every minuscule wrinkle is gone.
-They don't mind yelling "WELCOME LADIES!!!" over the blaring Top 40 music, which to me is a verbal "shock and awe" military tactic.
- If they don't know where an item should go, they will spend an inordinate amount of time to find out where the item is supposed to be instead of taking an educated guess and moving on with their life.
-Like sharks, they never. stop. moving.
-And they do it in heels.
-They have perfected the judgmental-up-and-down-once-over-glance taking mental notes about how ugly your practical shoes are (that's really just my manager but he's a man so I feel like he's not allowed to say anything). See Blair Waldorf perfect the look below:
And I'm all:
Even though I do think their attention to detail is overkill, I would like to adopt that take-pride-in-your-work attitude. I know that part of my negativity is due to the fact that I've only been there for a week and I need to give it time but part of it is I just don't care. And that's the clincher--the majority of the others are studying fashion and want to do this for the rest of their lives. I, on the other hand, was walking down the street, saw they were hiring, and decided to throw my resume in the mix because I like to shop.
I incorrectly assumed that this staff would have the same attitude as I do. When I worked at the grocery store, the staff's collective weariness bonded us together. No one majored in Grocery Studies (minor in Kale Chips) in college, so most of the employees were just biding their time until something better came along. It created a camaraderie that pulled us through endless hours of scanning groceries and helped fool our clientele into thinking we enjoyed our jobs. And even though we weren't assaulting customers with kindness, I think people responded to our authenticity (anything to keep the terrible management off our backs). We entertained ourselves and if the customers wanted in on the fun, so much the better.
I think the key to pretending that I like this job is to play it out like a character. Below is a brilliant Maria Bamford bit that I feel like so perfectly captures the tone of my time working retail. The sudden shift from Real Maria to Fake Maria is basically how I greet customers. Enjoy!
