Mantras

Working at an autism clinic means you have to be able to cope with certain unsavory things...boogers, coughing, germs, sticky hands (kids seem to always have sticky hands), poops, and other general bodily fluids. I'm not very comfortable with the poops or the boogers to begin with, but there is something that trumps all of that: screaming. A sustained exposure to a child screaming/crying can cause hearing loss. At 90 decibels, OSHA requires that a factory provide hearing protection. A baby screaming is at 110 decibels. OSHA would shut this place down. Then Erin Brockovich will form a class action suit around us and all the people who work with children will be provided with free hearing aids, which we will all need at the ripe age of 42.

Anywho, on this particular day, one child was having a screaming/crying/yelling/throwing about to shit himself fit. It's an occupational hazard, but most fits last 5-10 mins. His lasted close to an hour. I'm surprised his vocal chords didn't give out. Or he didn't pass out from lack of oxygen. His mantra became, "NOOOOOOOOO JUST LET ME GOOOOOOOO I JUST WANT TO GO HOOOOOOOMMMEEE. GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEE I HATE YOU!!!!!" in that order. With that many Os. To be honest, sometimes I want to scream that when someone hands me a 5 inch binder full of billing papers and I am literally boob-high in paperwork but that's not "socially acceptable". After 20 minutes of the same phrases being screamed at the same ear piercing, OSHA-will-fine you level, I started to go a little crazy. I started to hear just sounds, not words, like if you say "fork" over and over again. It starts to sound funny. This kid started to sound like Chewbacca. Thank god I'm in my own separate room away from it all because I started making my own Chewbacca noises and laughing and well, it would not have been "socially acceptable" yet again. My own mantras became "be nice to children" and "no mocking children with Chewbacca noises." I think I'll write those on post-it notes and put them up on my mirror so I am reminded of that every day before I go to work. And a note to find an herbal supplement that will make me more compassionate. Maybe an antioxidant...Whatever I'll just drink more green tea.